SLAPHAPPY
by Realmi
Summary: ***FINISHED!***What would happen if two hopeless romantics give Spike a chance for a happily ever after? I don't know, but it'll be nothing short of crazy! F/S all flames will be used for s'mores!
1. We're going to Hell for this!

SLAPHAPPY

By: Realm Wanderer

Act: 001 We're going to Hell for this!

**Author's notes**: I'm not making any money off of this. Also, I don't own Cowboy Bebop… I wouldn't mind owning Spike tho ^-^ this is a Faye/Spike fic, don't like, don't read. Also, this is not for Julia fans at all! Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

***

            The boss knew she hated assignments like this. Transporting souls from the Realm of Life to the Realm of Death was always too depressing for Yokai. "I don't wanna!" She whined to a tall black haired man.

            "We can't afford to skip another assignment. The boss isn't kidding when he says that he'll send you back to jail." He replied.

            "But, James, I hate transporting souls! I'm too good a Realm Wanderer to have to deal with something so sad!" 

            James gave her one of his best smiles. "You are such a baby." He teased.

            "Am not!" Yokai yelled indignantly. James just grinned, his eyes laughing at her. "Unless those blue eyes of yours want to get poked out, they best get that look out of them." 

            "Come on." James said, sitting down at the controls of his DarkApollo 2. Yokai whimpered and sat down in the co-pilot's seat and they made their way to their mission

***

            As the spaceship touched the wet ground Yokai unbuckled her seat belt and sat up. "At least the atmosphere is right." She smiled, pointing out to the thunderstorm. "Couldn't pick a nicer evening to die myself."

            James rolled his eyes a ruffled Yokai's hip length rusty crimson hair. "Aren't you positive this evening?" He said jokingly. 

            "Oh shut-up." Yokai said walking towards the door, James following her. "There he is." She said pointing a life less form in a pool of blood. 

            James pulled out a small palm pilot looking thing. "Yep, Spike Spiegel, age: 27, hair: green, eyes: brown, Cause of Death: Sword. That's our guy alright."

            "Hmmm… He's kinda cute." Yokai said, causing James to flush with anger. Of course Yokai couldn't see him, she was looking at Spike. "Give me that soul-taker-outer thingy that Alice created. The sooner this is over with, the better." As James handed Yokai a strange sliver instrument that looked a lot like a small vacuumm, they both heard the sound of another ship coming down. 

            "Just ignore it." James told Yokai. "Beings in the Realm of Life can't see us." Yokai nodded as the ship landed.

            "SPIKE! LORD NO!" James and Yokai turned around and they saw a woman with pasty pale skin, blackish purple hair, and clothes that screamed "too-much-skin!" running at their mission. "SPIKE!" The woman yelled again. The rain didn't hide her tears from Yokai. "Spike…" She whispered when she was besides the dead man. "Did you find out if you were alive, Spike? Did you?" She sobbed.

            The woman hugged the lifeless man and cried. "You jack-ass! I love you! I LOVE YOU!" She yelled. "Why couldn't you let go of your past? Why couldn't you see my care for you? Spike… why… why did you have to die? Was life really so horrible? Was her memory? Was I? Spike…" She choked though her sobs. 

            Yokai sniffed. This was why she hated transporting souls. James held up his palm pilot thing at the woman. "Name: Faye Valentine. Age: 73… What! Oh, I see, she was frozen for 50 years at the age of 23. Hair: black, died purple. Eyes: green."

            "Poor girl…" Yokai said, tears forming in her eyes. "Hey, James…" Yokai said, her tear-filled lilac eyes looked up at him. "Did you think… that…?" She smiled a little, imagining his face when she was done asking the question she was about to ask.

            "What are you up to?" James said warily, fearing the answer.

            "How about we bring him back?" She asked, pointing to Spike. "I can't stand the fact that she loved him and never got a chance to live happily ever after with him."

            "ARE YOU REALLY THAT STUPID!?" James yelled throwing his hands in the air. "That is against every rule in the handbook! We'd be kicked off the Inter-Dimensional Police Force in no time!"

            "Screw the IDPF!" Yokai yelled back. "This is love!"

            "According to this." James said pointing to his faithful scanner/palm pilot. "He loves someone named Julia."

            "Really now." Yokai said pulling out her own. "Says on mine, Spike did love Julia but that love died with obsession. Really he loves Faye, but his heart hasn't caught up with his brain… or whatever that saying is." James flushed in anger. He had been caught.

            "We can't, Yokai!"

            "We didn't suck out his soul, all we have to do is give him the Kiss of Life and we're good to go." Yokai smiled. "Don't even try to tell me that you aren't as much as a hopeless romantic as I am, I've read your journal."

            "YOU WHAT!" Yelled James, turning an exquisite shade of red. 

            "So you like me, eh?" Yokai sneered.

            "Do not!" James shouted. 

            "You know you want me!" 

            "I detest you!"

            "Love you too, babe." Yokai smiled. "Now, unless you want all of the IDPF to know about your fear of the dark, you'll do as I say."

            James stumbled some words but they feel on deaf ears. "Errrr! You win, but we're going to Hell for this, we're going to Hell for sure!"

            "Who's the baby now?" Yokai teased. She walked over to Spike and Faye (who was still weeping) and laid her lips on Spike's cold ones.

            A warmth soon filled Spike's cold form as life once again returned to him. "Where am I?" He asked looking around, he saw Yokai. "Who are you?"

            "Call me Yokai, and you are in Hammer Space, I got to talk to you before I return you to your body."

            "I'm not dead?"

            "You were, Spike, gave your friend down there quite a scare." Yokai pointed down, Spike saw Faye… crying? Now there was something he didn't expect to see, ever, Faye crying, and over him to boot. He then saw his dead body. "Spike the only thing I want to say is, this is your second chance, forget the past and live for the future."

            "Wait! If I'm alive, isn't Julia…" Yokai shook her head.

            "No, Spike, listen to me. Julia is dead, for good, I'm giving you a chance to live a happily ever after, take it. The past can't control everything. It's done, and there is nothing anyone can do to change it." One mammoth of a lie but he couldn't know about the Realm of Time. 

            "Why me?" Spike asked. "Why not Julia, she was an angel!"

            Yokai slapped Spike across the face. "FAR FROM IT FOOL!" She yelled. "I don't know if you knew this, but she had a spilt-personality. The side she showed to you was not her real self. Her real self was a bitter, murderous monster. Why do you think Vicious loved her?" Spike was taken a back. She was right. The soft sweet type was not Vicious's style at all.

            _How could I have been so stupid!? _He thought.

            "This is your second chance, Spike, and last. Don't blow it, Cowboy." She winked at him. "Any questions?"

            "Just two." Spike smirked. "How did you get that scar?" He asked, pointing to the faint scar on her forehead. "And are you some angel?"

            "Oh… um…" She blushed. "Believe it or not, it's from a nasty fish tank episode. And no, I just have too much time on my hands." Spike laughed.

            "So when do I get to go back?" He asked.

            "Right now."

            Spike's eyes flickered open. "I need a cigarette." For the first words he could have said after coming back to life, those were pretty corny.

***Dramatic music plays*** DA DA DUMMM!

**Endnote**: So ends this chapter! What did you think? Like it, love it, hate it, want to throw sharp pointed objects at me? What will happen to everyone's favorite bounty hunters, not to mention Realm Wanderers? Sorry the CB cast wasn't around that much, but that changes. Plus, More F/S action then you can shake a stick at! Now time for you to review, be nice, 1st CB fic.

 See ya Space Cowboy!


	2. So much for Happily Ever After

SLAPHAPPY

By: RealmWanderer

Act: 002 So much for Happily Ever After

Author's Notes: I don't own Cowboy Bebop, or Spike ***looks around*** But I should. ^-^

***

            Faye looked up, tears still streaming down her face. "Sp…Spike?" She asked, almost fearing to believe her eyes. 

            "Miss me?" Spike asked, giving her one of his playful smirks. 

            "Told ya I knew what I was doing!" Yokai hissed at James. They were watching the scene with looks of interest and amusement. Yokai was looking painfully smug. 

            James just rolled his eyes. "Ten woolongs say the boss strikes us down with a lighting bolt in the next ten seconds."

            "Got one word for you, Jamiekins, paranoid!"

            "We'll see." Was all he said as they continued to watch the scene before them.

            "You jerk!" Faye yelled at Spike. "You have no idea how scared I was!" Faye slapped Spike across the face. "You just left, throwing your life away, not giving a damn that we loved you!" Tears of anger were streaming down her face. "WE LOVED YOU!"

            "Hmmm… very nice." Spike said drowsily. "Mind keeping your voice down? Coming back to life is very tiring."

            Faye's mouth went a gap. "Wha… er…" She stumbled with her words. She hated it when Spike did this! He was the only person who could make her speechless, and she couldn't help but love it and hate it all at the same time. 

            "So much for a happily ever after." James said smuggly. 

            "It ain't over till the ex-space pirate sings." Yokai siad roughly. 

            Faye looked own at Spike's shoulder. "BLOODY HELL!" She yelped. _What did I just say? That's the last time a wacth old British movies before I go to bed! _Faye thought to her self. Blood was ozzing out of Spike's wound, forming a puddle on the wet ground.

            "YOU DINGBAT!" James yelled at Yokai. "YOU FORGOT TO HEAL HIS WOUNDS!"

            "Hey, hey, hey!" Yokai snapped. "Nobody's perfect!"

            "Spike!? Don't close your eyes!" Faye ordered. "Just look at me, nothing else. Please, Spike, don't look away!" Fear ripped at Faye's heart. 

            "Night, night," Spike said, almost as if he was intoxicated.

            "Oh no you don't, Speigel!" Faye shrieked. "You're not leaving me again!"  She got up and drapped Spike's arm around her. "On your feet, lunkhead!" She ordered. The green eyed woman some how managed to lift Spike up and hobble over to her Red Tail. 

            "Great! Where the hell am I going to put you!?" She shurged and put him in the cargo area. "This isn't first class, Spike, but you're the one who decided to go off and make yourself a human pin cushion!" She climbed in and made a crude bandage for his arm. "If you don't wake up, I swear you'll… er…. I don't know, but it'll be horrible!" 

            "See? Everything is working out nicely. You need to trust me more…"

            "AND YOU TWO NEED TO FOLLOW THE RULES MORE!" A deep voice boomed.

            "Eep!" Yokai squeaked. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her transmitter. "Hello, Boss, beautiful weather isn't it?" She nervously brushed back some soaked strands of aburn hair. "What's news?"  
            "Well, for one thing, two of my top Realm Wanderers brought a man back to life… with out my consent." 

            "Oh, how horrible! Who are this fiends?"Yokai asked. The perfoemance was worthy of an Oscar.

            "That was Yokai's idea!" James yelled into the transmitter. "I had nothing to do with it!"

            "Thanks, pal." She mumbled, dripping every word with sarcasm. "Listen, Boss, I can explain…"

            "No need for explanations! The rules, are the rules." The voice sighed. "It pains me to do this, but I'm going to have to put you two on suspension."

            "S… suspension…?" James gulped.

            "Yes. You two will live like mortals for one year. Be joyful I've desided to let you keep your Dark Apollo 2, James."

            "Yea, James! You should be greatful!" Yokai still playing innocent.

            "And you, Yokai, be glad I'm not kicking you off the Inter-Deminsional Police Force, this isn't your first time breaking the rules."

            "More like her 5000th… OUCH!" James yelped in pain as Yokai stepped on his foot. 

            "But where are we going to live?" Yokai asked. The Dark Apollo was only a transporting viecel, you couldn't live in it. Well, James could, but he loved that ship. 

            "You two can figure that out." The boss said. "See you in a year." And then there was silence. 

            "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" James roared. Faye turned around, startled by the voice. She turned around and saw a tall, black haired man yelling at a shorter woman with rusty crimsion colored hair. Both of them dressed in black with brown trench coats. A sleak black ship was behind them.

            _Where did these two come from?_

            "MY FAULT!? YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED ME ANY TIME!"

            "YOU BLACK MAILED ME!"

            "IS IT MY FAULT YOU'RE SELF CONSIOUS ABOUT YOUR FEAR OF THE DARK?" The woman shouted back. 

            _Jeez, and I thought Spike and I were the only ones who could yell like that. _

"YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE! WE HAVE NO MEANS TO MAKE ANY MONEY, NO FOOD, AND WHAT'S WORST, I'M STUCK WITH YOU FOR A YEAR!"

            "SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, JAMES!"

            "WHAT THE DEVIL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"

            "YOU KEEP FORGETTING YOUR TALKING TO YOKAI, THE GREATEST SPACE PIRATE TO EVER FLY THE SKIES! SO SHUT-UP!"

            Something clicked in Faye's mind. Yokai. She didn't know why, but that name sounded fimilar. _Space pirate? _She thought. Now, she was intrigued. 

            "FINE THEN ALMIGHTY SPACE PIRATE!" The man bellowed. "GO OFF AND LEAD YOUR WONDERFUL LIFE! I DON'T NEED YOU!"

            "AND I DON'T NEED YOU!" The woman shouted back.

            "FINE!"

            "FINE!" The man turned around and headed for the ship. He climbed in and about fifteen mintues later he cam eout with a suit case of stuff. 

            "You forgot your stuff."

            "You are just _so_ kind." Yokai hissed grabbing her suit case out of his hand. She turned her back to him. James looked at her for a moment, as if he wanted to say something, but he just shock his head and walked back to his ship. 

            Once the Dark Apollo 2 was well out of sight, Yokai finally moved. Faye was still there, the scene was déjà vu for her. _How many times have Spike and I done the same thing?_ Faye felt sorry for the stranger and called out to her. "Hey!" Faye called out to Yokai.

            "Oh, your still here, I thought you had left to go save your friend." 

            _Shit, Spike! _"You need a ride? I noticed that you don't have one, and it's not exactly the best night to be out." She pointed out to the rain that was still pouring down.

            Yokai smilled at Faye. "Thanks." She made her way over to the Red Tail.

            "I don't have any more in the cock pit, but you can stay in the cargo area with Spike." Faye showed her where to go.

            "Thanks again." Yokai smilled as she climbed in.

            "Don't mention it." Faye smiled back and made her way to her seat.

            Yokai looked at Spike. _Hmmmm… I think I got something in here that will stop the bleeding… _She thought, rummaging though her pockets.

***hours later***

            "How is he?" Faye asked as Yokai peeped her head into the cock pit.

            "He'll be fine, he's just sleeping." Yokai smiled.

            "Mind if I ask you a question?" Faye asked the younger woman.

            "Shoot."

            "Where did you and that guy you were with come from?"

            "Oh, we are…. Peremedics!" Yokai rushed. "We got a call from some bystanders that there was a a guy bleeding, so we rushed over."

            "Then how come I didn't see you? You were standing right were Spike was?"

            "Blinded by love." Yokai winked. Faye blushed slightley and turn her attention back to the sky. 

            "Were do you live?" Faye asked, trying to change the topic.

            "Er….I…don't have a place to live actually…"

            "Cause you were living with that guy you were with?" Asked Faye.

            "No, no, no, I'm just kinda new, I don't live anywhere around here."

            "Then how do you get to work?" Faye asked, something was just not right here, but she couldn't place her finger on it.

            "I won't need to worry about that anymore. You see that guy I was with, he was my boss, sorta, and he just fired me." Yokai said.

            "Oh, well, that makes sense, kinda. If you want, you can stay with me and Spike, I'm sure Jet won't mind, we do have an extra bed room." Faye offered, the strain of the day must be cachting up, she was never this generous.

            "Thanks, Faye!" Yokai beamed.

            "How do you know my name?"

            "Oh…er… Spike kept whispering it when he was…er… fainting. I'm just guessing you're Faye…" Yokai lied.

            Faye's heart was beating too fast to ask her self weather this girl was lieing or not.

***

            "I'm home!" Faye called out as she and Yokai carried/dragged Spike onto the Bebop.

            "SPIKE!?" Jet screamed. He rushed over to the ladies and helped them carry the lunkhead to the couch. Then, he ran off for his first aid kit.

            "I'm a little tea pot." Spike sang goggly as Jet returned to the couch.

            "Spike, how do you get yourself in this kinda mess?" Jet asked more to himself than to him.

            "He's just a little loopy of the painkillers I gave him." Yokai said. Jet turned around and faced the lilac eyed Realm Wanderer.

            "Just who are you?"

            "The gal who saved your buddy's life, but call me Yokai, everyone else does." Yokai said extending her hand. Jet took I and gaev it a quick shake.

            "Thanks." He muttered, going back to nursing Spike.

            "Um… Jet…?" Faye asked.

            "Yea?"

            "Could talk to you in private for a minute?" Jet nodded and got up.

            "Yokai." Faye said when they were out of her earshot. "There's something funny about that girl, but I can't put my finger on it."

            "Think she works for Vicious?" Jet asked.

            "No, she saved Spike, but I don't know, something is… different about her…. I heard her talking to this guy, she said she was a Space Pirate." Fayewhispered.

            "Whan me to run a cheek over the name Yokai?" Jet asked.

            "Pretty much." Faye said, looking over her shoulder. "Also, I said she can stay with us, is that okay?"

            "Sure." Jet said. "If she's worth a bounty, than it'll be some easy woolongs."

***

            Faye sat beside Spike, who was still dead to the world and began to sing softly.

You hold me in dreams put they don't' stay 

_It's getting harder to face the light of day_

_Wanna tell you, but I don't what to say_

_Love is such a nuisance_

_Maybe I should leave things unspoken_

_Maybe that be best_

_But looking in those brown eyes_

_And it's time in my chest_

_So just shut-up!_

_There's so much I need to say!_

_Before time runs out_

_I'm gonna seize the day!_

_Don't you know?_

_I got no idea what's goin' on!_

_So tell me now_

_So we'll both be free_

Do you love me? 

_The wind won't our good byes_

_It's not too late for you and me_

_Sayanora, won't be happening_

_Love is such a nuisance_

_Maybe I should leave things unspoken_

_Maybe that be best_

_But looking in those brown eyes_

_And it's time in my chest_

_So just shut-up!_

_There's so much I need to say!_

_Before time runs out_

_I'm gonna seize the day!_

_Don't you know?_

_I got no idea what's goin' on!_

_So tell me now_

_So we'll both be free_

Do you love me? 

            "Faye?" Spike asked. 

            "What is it?" Faye asked softly.

            "Your voice…"

            "I know, I know, it's off key." Faye said rolling her eyes, not thathe could see her gesture in the dark.

            "No, not that, it's really good." Spike smiled, then went back to the Land of Nod.

            "He likes you." Yokai said, popping out from the doorway, reminding Faye of Ed. 

            "What are you doing up?" Faye asked.

            "Sigh, insomnia. My blessing and my curse!" Yokai said dramaticly as she made a bee-line for the fridge. 

            "And just how is insomnia a blessing?" Faye asked, smiling.

            "It's easier to spy on tender moments like that when I'm awake." Yokai smiled. Faye stuck out her tongue. "It's that a little childish?" Yokai teased.

            "It's fun to be childish every now and then." Faye answered back. Yokai laughed.

            "At times like this, James would say: 'It's ok to be childish when you're a child, you're a grown woman, act like it!' Sheesh, he's such a boy scout!" Faye laughed.

            "That's the guy you were with, right" Faye asked.

            "Yep."

            "Do you think he'll come after you?" Faye asked cautiously, she didn't want to tred on dangerous ground.

            "He will." Yokai said smiling.

            "What makes you so sure?" Faye asked, lightening up when she saw her smile.

            "Cuz." Yokai smirked. "I'm his double mocha cappucino with extra whipped cream, and that boy can't live with out caffine!" Faye smiled at her remark. "Aha! Carrots!"

**Endnote: **Was the Bebop cast OOC? I don't know, well, thanks for all the reviews! I'm so happy I finished this! My computer was acting like it's wonderful self and cept freezing up ***eye twictes*** Okay, I hope you liked it, and if you didn't….I'm getting hungry anyways and I could go for some s'mores ***rubs tummy*** S'mores! Yummmmm! Btw: the song, "Do you love me?" I actually wrote it so, tell me if you liked the song, I thought it worked well with the story.

            __


	3. There ain't no nicer witch than you

SLAPHAPPY!

By: Realmi

Act 003: There is no nicer witch then you

***

            Realmi: Believe it or not, I actually forgot I had this story…….. oops.

***

            Yokai danced around the living room area of the Bebop singing an old Frank Sinatra song., Witchcraft.  She remember a time when she got James drunk at a karaoke bar on Venus and the two sang that song.

***flashback***

**James : Those fingers in my hair  
That sly configured stare  
Leaves my conscience bare  
It's witchcraft. **

**Yokai: ooooh, and I've got no defense for it,  
The heat is too intense for it.  
What good would common since for it do, **

**James: Because it's witchcraft,  
That wicked witchcraft,  
And although I know it's strictly taboo **

**Yokai: When you arouse the need in me,  
My heart says yes indeed in me,  
Proceed with what your leading me too **

**James: And it's such an ancient hitch,  
One that I would never switch, **

**Both: Because there's no nicer witch than you  **

**Yokai: Cuz it's witchcraft,  
That wicked witchcraft,  
And although I know it's strictly taboo **

**Both: When you arouse the need in me, **

**James: My heart says yes indeed in me, **

**Yokai: Proceed with what your leading me too... **

It's such an ancient hitch,  
But one I would not switch, 

**James: There ain't no nicer witch than you **

**Yokai: who me? (spoken) **

**James: Than you... **

**Yokai: Not me? (spoken) **

**James: than you  
Hey you little witch!**

            Yokai must have gotten him really drunk because then he did something totally out of character, he kissed her.

***end flashback***

            "There is no nicer witch then you, James," Yokai said, sitting down on the lofty couch.  Spike has finally woken up about a week later, he remembered Yokai from his talk with her in hammer space when he did, but it didn't take much to make him believe he just dreamed it up. 

            Yokai pouted a bit at the thought of Spike. He and Faye haven't been hitting it off as famously as she had hoped. In fact, the two were acting down right in different fro each other! Yokai fumed silently, she did not get kicked off the I.D.P.F. for a year just to save the two main characters ruin her fairytale ending. "But just how the hell am I supposed to put the two chickens together?" she asked herself aloud. As she pondered her problem, other crew members were having troubles of their own.

***

            "That just doesn't make since!" Faye exclaimed to the computer screen. "How can this be Yokai!"

            "Maybe it's not."

            "But look at the picture, Jet!" Faye said pointing to a picture of a woman who had Yokai's hair, nose, eyes, skin, and name. "It's an exact replica!" 

            "It can't be, look at the date of death," Jet said pointing to a small number on the computer screen. "She was one of the first and most successful space pirates on in the heavens and looks a lot like our spunky guest, but this chick died about ten years before you were frozen."

            "Maybe she was frozen too!"

            "That doesn't work, Faye, didn't you say that it was revolutionary technology?" 

            "Then how do you explain the look-alikeness?" Faye demanded. 

            "They're probably related, and our Yokai just took the name," Jet shrugged. "But there is no way the person on the screen and the person singing loudly down the hall are the same person."

            Faye fumed in defeat. "So there is no bounty?"

            "None." Faye got angrier, not so much over the person but of the money being lost. 

            "Auigh!"

***

            Yokai was still sitting on the couch thinking of a way to bring the two together.  She thought, and thought, and thought, and thought again, until finally she got a headache and went to go see with there were any carrots left. 

            On the way to the kitchen she found a flier, trying to promote the grand opening of a new karaoke bar. Suddenly, a little light bulb formed over her head. Bingo! She would invite them to come with her as a way of thanking them for their hospitality, her paying of course. Those two would jump at the chance for a free meal1

            The only thing that might become a problem would be Jet, she'd have to get him out of the way of romance. Yokai rubbed her chin in thought. "Wait a sec," she thought aloud. "There is this big green house down the road a little from the bar," she remembered. "jet loves bonsais right?" She drums her fingers together and giggled (think Mr. Burns from the Simpsons) "Excellent!"

***

            It was about an hour before they were about to go, Jet had already left, not wanting them to disturb his bonsai shopping. Faye was tapping her foot outside the bathroom door. "Spike! Let me in here right now! I have to do my make up!" 

            "Go away woman! I'm trying to shower!" 

            "Dammit, Spike! You're insufferable!"

            "Always." Faye put her hands on her hips, then she noticed that the door was unlocked so she just let herself in. Spike has finished his shower and opened the curtain to let himself out. "DAMMIT, FAYE! WHAT THE HELLS THE MATTER WITH YOU!?" he blushed and grabbed a towel. Faye smirked and pouted.

            "You were taking sooooooooooooo long and the door was unlocked so I just let myself in!" She smiled. _Hot damn but he has a nice body!  She thought as she finished her make up and left._

            Yokai was waiting for them in her usual khakis and black t-shirt. The trio headed out for the bar and were soon there.

            _Time to put my plan into action! _Yokai giggled inwardly. "Hey guys?" she asked Faye and Spike. "Wanna play a drinking game?"

***

            "Whooo, that's enough for me," Yokai said, getting up from her seat as the two bounty hunters continued their game. Yokai could have had more, but she had to be away for sparks to fly. So she went over to the bar, sat on a stool, and ordered herself a nice glass of ginger ale, because ginger ale is tasty and the root of all happiness!  She glanced over at the two "love birds" and giggled soon, soon her plan would be complete. 

            After a few moments she felt a tap, tap, tap on her shoulder, she turned around and there was James. It took all of Yokai's self control not to bite his neck, throw him onto the floor, and rip his clothes off but she managed.  "Uh… hey, Yokai," James said nervously. Yokai turned back around and pretended to ignore him. "Look, Yokai, I'm sorry, okay, I was just really infuriated by you. I know I shouldn't have said some of those things, and well…..I would like it if you came back with me."

            "And why would I want to do that? I have found a nice guy over the past five days, he's cute and clever. Why would I want to go back with you?" Yokai asked, hoping she had tricked him into say "it."

            "Because, dammit, I love you!" he roared angry beyond belief at the woman before him. 

            _Yes!_ She thought. _Not only did I get him to say it, but I got him to cuss too! _

_Yokai: 2_

_James: 0_

            Yokai turned back around and smiled, as if she was a cat and she had pinned a mouse to a corner. James hated that smile like poison. She threw herself onto the poor lad and planted her mouth onto his. Her hands flew up into his silky black hair. 

            James was surprised at first, but he caught on. The kiss broke and James looked down on the woman before him. "Wanna go?"

            "Not yet, my bags are still on the Bebop and there is something I have to do first."

            "What are you up to?"  James asked.

            "Witchcraft," she said with a wink as she walked up and grabbed on of the karaoke mikes. "Attention all! This song is for two very special people. Spike Spiegel and Faye Valentine! I'm Yokai and with me is James!" she boomed, pointing a finger at her partner.  James smiled and picked up another mike. 

 **James : Those fingers in my hair  
That sly configured stare  
Leaves my conscience bare  
It's witchcraft. **

            Just as Yokai planned, Faye and Spike started to dance together.

**Yokai: ooooh, and I've got no defense for it,  
The heat is too intense for it.  
What good would common since for it do, **

**James: Because it's witchcraft,  
That wicked witchcraft,  
And although I know it's strictly taboo **

**Yokai: When you arouse the need in me,  
My heart says yes indeed in me,  
Proceed with what your leading me too **

**James: And it's such an ancient hitch,  
One that I would never switch, **

**Both: Because there's no nicer witch than you  **

            Now they were kissing, excellent!

**Yokai: Cuz it's witchcraft,  
That wicked witchcraft,  
And although I know it's strictly taboo **

**Both: When you arouse the need in me, **

**James: My heart says yes indeed in me, **

**Yokai: Proceed with what your leading me too... **

It's such an ancient hitch,  
But one I would not switch, 

            Okay, unless someone stopped them they were going to start doing something that shouldn't be done in public.

**James: There ain't no nicer witch than you **

**Yokai: who me? (spoken) **

**James: Than you... **

**Yokai: Not me? (spoken) **

**James: than you  
Hey you little witch!**

            Faye and Spike broke from their kiss looking at each other with shock. "Spike…….?" Faye said, the alcohol rubbing off.

            "Faye…….?" Spike asked, they just stared at each other. 

            "What the hell?" the duo said in unison then they returned to their kissing

***later on***

            "Boo Yay!" Yokai said as she got into the Dark Apollo 2. "I win, James."

            "You cheated, you used alcohol."

            "It worked with us, didn't it?"

            James shook his head. "You little witch."

            "No complaints so far!"

***Fin***

Realmi: Okay, okay that was bad and everyone was OOC, but it's four freaking o'clock. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless I had fun writing it!

See you space cowboy, over! *static*  


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